Ghoulslime's Pooetry Corner!
~ Pooetry for pooets of all persuasions!
|Here's the Poo for you:
Give Me A Hand
On poo I take my stand,
Slip and land,
Feel my fingers expand
On goo, on poo,
Hot and steamy on my hand.
Poo, Oh, My Poo
Poo, oh, my poo,
I say adieu to you!
The moments we shared together were few.
I relish this final view,
The splash of abandonment,
Like a little messenger sent
To spread my message down below,
Beyond the mysterious hole,
Swimming like a slippery mole,
Where shall you go?
How shall I know
That you will still love me,
When you have been enticed by pee?
But you are free to follow your heart
Beyond the force of my fart,
Poo, oh, my poo.
Upward, Glorious Biscuit Of My Bowels!
Abandon all underwear!
Make yourself bare,
For the world to stare
As you shit in the air!
Oh, blow, blow, blow,
Shun the world below!
Shoot a glorious pear
Bursting and steaming
Shining and gleaming
Like a shooting star fair!
But beware - The smile
Fast becomes a frown.
A turd floats a while,
But must come down.
Bringing you poo since 1842!
'Twas the night after burritos,
When all through the loo,
Every butt hole was flowing
With brown stinky goo,
When what to my wondering bum did appear,
But a long chocolate snake with a face like a deer.
So I filled up my mouth with this wonderful cheer,
And sang of the glory for the rest of the year.
Witches shit but once a year.
It fizzles out like rotten beer.
It falls like acid on the ground,
And turns to smoke with a popping sound.
You cannot drink a mummy's pee.
You cannot even try.
Mummy's pee blows in the wind,
'Cause mummy pee is dry.
Vampire pee, you will see,
Is red as red can be,
And flows like blood from a vampire's wee.
Ask a vampire - he'll show you for free.
Ghost pee is milky white,
An incredible sight,
Floating around like rain clouds at night,
And smells a bit like Turkish Delight.
Zombie poo is greenish-blue.
It gurgles out like sticky glue.
It's great to drink with nasal goo,
And excellent in dog shit stew.
Skeletons have a common groan
For which one often hears them moan.
A skeleton can rattle and crawl,
But a skeleton cannot poo at all.
In the toilet late at night,
Screams of terrifying fright,
Rise up to the ceiling height.
Greenish glowing silver light,
Shines through the bathroom door,
Out across the hallway floor.
From the empty toilet bowl,
White hands reaching for a roll,
The poo ghosts have come once more,
Back again, from days of yore!
A poo ghost is a lonely soul
Searching for a lost butt hole.
The turd is hot.
Pull the handle to spin.
Take a cup and drink some up,
Or stick your face right in.
The Beginning Of All Poo
Dog made the world in a single day.
It fell from his butt like a piece of clay.
Then he made the glorious skies,
And thought it good that there should be flies.
The first two he called Adam and Eve.
You are full of shit if you believe.
A Poo Love Story
Blacky was loved by Brown,
Until the plunger was pulled down.
On that sad and sorrowful day,
Blacky dear was washed away.
Now, Brown swims around,
Uttering a mournful sound.
"Blacky," you can hear him say,
"Why did you go away?
Why did you float out to sea?
Blacky, my love, come back to me!"
(This one brings a tear to my eye and a juicy fart to my bum)
Recently, from certain circles, accusation has arisen alleging
my poor taste. Let me state emphatically that I have impeccable
taste. Just ask anyone who has tasted me. Here are several
testimonials from prominent members of society:
"Ghoulslime has some really good
shit here, man!"
- Richie "Buttsausage" Jones, National Anus Review
"Ghoulslime's humor is as sappy-sweet as a ten-day-old carcass."
- Martin T Crudvapor, Maggot Parade Magazine
"According to my studies, Ghoulslime is a head above the rest."
- Doctor Jebus G Ripplewinkie, Guillotine And Skull
"Ghoulslime is as ripe as a fifteen year chili fart. (And he has
Poo - Part Two
Somebody shat in the bathroom sink.
Somebody shat on the floor.
Somebody really made it stink.
Somebody, close the door!
The cause needs you!
Fight for what is true,
For brownish mountain's majesty,
For amber sprays of rain,
For multicolored poo!
Defecate in red, white, and blue!
Shit for liberty,
And seal it with your pee!
What hand could fashion
The fruit of a butt hole's passion?
What name could hope to excrete
The glory of a bum's fame?
A poo by any other name
Would smell as sweet.
To sit in solemn silence, on a cold white bowl!
Searching for a scrap of rag to wipe your hole,
Staring at the fragments on an empty roll,
Seeing that the situation is out of control,
And no other solution found,
Drag your ass across the ground!
Brown chocolate spice, like glutinous rice -
That's what poo is made of!
Spraying yellow glee, like a raging yellow sea -
That's what pee is made of!
The whispers of my bum
To my nostrils come.
For a brown cloud, I long,
To hear a sweet poo song.
The Fruit Of My Loins
The fruit of my loins is brown and sweet!
Get it while it's hot, for a marvelous treat!
On a steaming Lilly pad
An angry toad
(Ghoulslime say: look before you leap)
In My Pants
Look at my flabbergasted frown.
Look at the stain wet and brown.
Take a whiff of my spicy smell.
Listen to my raves and rants.
As you can clearly tell,
I have just shat in my pants.
Old Bean Williams
Old bean Williams was a fine old man.
He liked to spend his days on the can.
One day, he ate a whole bean pie.
And blew himself right up to the sky.
And that was the end of it.
Now that's what I call a shit.
What do you say?
What's this on my foot?
It seems a bit too squishy to be soot.
It's mashed right up between my toes.
The smell is rising to my nose.
I doubt that it could be a rose.
Shall I wear it for the rest of the day,
Or wash it off with the hose?
What do you say?
Corn In The Dog Poo
Corn in the dog poo!
Shoo, fly, shoo!
Hey, fly, that corn's not for you!
I had dibs when the dog was through!
When I'm done with it,
I'll take another shit,
And leave it all for you.
Into the Sea
Within my bum
Is the glorious sum
Of all that I eat.
A wonderful treat!
And to sweeten the deal,
It makes a lovely squeal.
I Christen it with pee
As it launches from my ass to the sea to the sea,
As it launches from my ass into the sea!
Little Jack Snotty
Little Jack snotty
Sat on the potty,
Eating a big black turd.
He stuck in his thumb,
And pulled out a plum,
And said, "Oh, my word!"
I Like Poo
I like poo,
Whew, whew, whew!
I like poo!
How about you?
It's good for chocolate.
It's good for paste.
Hey, I'll bet you'd like a taste!
Brick by brick
When you wipe your bum,
And discover some
Poo on the end of your thumb,
That life is unfair.
For poo is life's greatest treasure,
A joy beyond measure.
Unlike useless piss,
Poo is substantial,
In a way.
In a single day,
You can take a shit
And carefully mould it
Into a brick,
Then dry it hard and thick,
And gradually build a new world wonder,
A pyramid to bring praise like thunder.
- the greatest mountain of doo doo begins with a single poo.
Ape man swings on a vine.
Ape man swings very fine.
But, what is this? Oh, no!
Ape man has to go!
Ape man has no underwear,
Does a poo poo in mid air,
Gives a tree a great big whack.
Now ape man is swinging back.
Poo poo is still falling.
And ape man is calling.
Poo poo goes down ape man's throat.
Ape man sings a different note.
But ape man is not too sad.
Poo poo does not taste too bad.
It was fun to do and fun to eat,
A sort of ape man trick and treat.
The Color Of Fame
One can often find
That poo is of a darkened kind,
Maybe from the lack of sweets,
Maybe from life on the streets.
Or it could be a racial thing, maybe.
They say that black is beautiful, baby!
Well, if black's the color of such aclaim,
I just shat a masterpiece of considerable fame.
In all the toilets of East LA,
The poo is very spicy, they say,
Steaming like the hottest day.
If that's the case, I think I may
Serve it with Fajitas on a silver tray.
Nazi's are a noble race,
Of impure blood there's not a trace.
Even their poo is an Aryan sight.
The shit they shit is the whitest white.
But one flaw they have is to shit to the right,
Because their bum holes are too tight.
Wipe It Clean
There's a shitty feeling
When you don't wipe well,
There's a sticky feeling,
And a really bad smell.
When you wipe your ass,
You'd better wipe it clean,
'Cause when a few weeks pass,
Your butt will turn green.
Good Butt Fudge
Is hard to judge
Without tasting different brands,
Trying the texture in your hands -
Not too hard not too wet.
(It takes a while for good fudge to set)
Butt fudge should not be confused with diaper gravy,
Or the beany paste they shit in the Navy.
A good meal of ice cream and chocolate cake
Form well in the bum, and in the end, good fudge make.
Good butt fudge is hard to find.
Butt fudge is poo of a very rare kind.
But when you find some delightfully sweet,
It's something really nice to eat.
Try a piece of butt fudge.
You be the judge.
|Poo - Part Three
The Rumor Of A Turd
There was a sense that something came out,
Broke forth with a shout.
You felt your butthole open and close.
A strong smell came to your nose.
You turned with a jerk to admire your work.
But there was nothing there!
It had disappeared like air
- Like some forgotten word,
The rumor of a turd.
The Power Of Poo Gas
Poo gas is such fun to pass.
It gives a bum authority,
A voice surpassing even pee,
Communication of unequaled class.
Never underestimate or understate
The power of a poo gas cloud
That conquers like some barbarian hoard,
That makes one's asshole cry out loud!
The bum is mightier than the sword!
Want to hear something funny?
When I eat sand, my shit is runny.
When I eat bees, I shit out honey!
When I eat green paper, I even shit money!
Now that is talent I've been told.
My asshole is more precious than pure gold!
Substance Of The Moon
Some people say that the moon
Is made of greenish cheese.
But the truth is as plain as the sun at noon.
And I will tell you, if you please.
It was made by a giant moon man type
With his bum so big and blue.
And contrary to the latest hype,
The moon is a giant poo.
The Big Black Dog Shit Mountain
Oh, the yellow piss springs
And the fart song sings
On the big black dog shit mountain,
Where the butthole flings
And the shit burst rings
On the big black dog shit mountain.
I found a pile of majesty
Beneath my ass so brown.
I knighted it with a spray of pee,
And wore it for a crown.
A Bundle Of Joy
What a treasure!
Oh, how sweet!
A bliss beyond measure,
Made from what I eat!
Wrap it up to keep it warm.
Hold it close to ward off harm.
I've been a very thoughtful boy
By leaving you a bundle of joy.
Atomic Shit Ass
Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no!
Here I go! Here I go!
Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no!
Stay for the show!
I have a crazy little feeling
As I sit on the bowl.
I think I really need to poo.
Then it blows me to the ceiling,
As it blasts out my hole.
I might just fly to Timbuktoo.
Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no!
Here I go! Here I go!
Watch my atomic shit ass blow.
Oh, no! What an incredible show!
(A man from Hiroshima ate every bean that he could see.
And when the gas blew out his ass, well, the rest is simply
There is no finer art than a fart!
Such a song any ass can impart!
What a song you are making
When your butthole is quaking.
But be careful not to blow out a dart.
If a picture paints a thousand words,
Then why not paint a poo?
I'd like to show to you
The beauty of my turds.
If an ass can launch a thousand ships,
Then where am I to go
To bare the fruit of my hips?
I'd really like to know.
One by one, I'll launch them out to sea.
And one fine day, they'll all float back to me!
Where I pee Makes no difference to me.
I spray it free, Like foam in the sea.
But when I poo, It is something that I do With religious devotion.
I shit so as to make a commotion.
Behold the sacred sacrament
Flowing from Jesus' bum,
To the sound of angel song.
Adore the poo from heaven sent,
With a toota toot toot and a rumpa pum pum.
Join the glorious throng!
Letís bend our knees and worship it;
The saviorís blessed loaf, his holy shit.
Chocolate Choo Choo
Hear the whistle's toot toot.
Open up the poop shoot.
Chugging through the yellow rain,
It looks like chocolate choo choo train!
Engine shining sleek and grand,
Chugging through the yellow rain,
Take the choo choo in your hand
And put it in your mouth again!
The banana is a marvelous fruit,
Nutrition of the highest repute!
But I wonder how it could be:
Itís the only food Iíve ever seen,
Whether yellow, red, or green,
That goes in your mouth,
And comes out down south,
In the same shape it was originally!
Watch a very nice poo movie here
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